Speechless Sensitivity

[thax peeps, ishes, and bro for the comments. VERY funny Special. =P... at least it tells me someone's reading my blog! =P.. soz bro, u left too early on Monday. lotsa love, friend, Highness [ish], sis.]

After the very successful surprise party that I organised for Jane's (TCP's) departure, I received an email, from a very special friend (a different kind of "special" Special, dw). I was to post this entry earlier, like on the day that I received that email, except, my full schedule of social activities got out of hand.

During tonight's dinner of wonderful, ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL grill cheese mussles, the remembrance of this particularly different email slipped through the mind conducting barbaric actions. As I tore the delicious flesh from its shell, I suddenly remembered what I was supposed to do. Obviously the email has nothing connected to the scrumptious objects that I was consuming, but... the mail was from Liz (and sorry guys, I can't post it on here) expressing her appreciation and friendliness.

The sensitivity of this mail is stunning and leaves me speechless. I had no idea I had a friend whom I only was close to at the start of this year... has such great compassion. I wrote back and thanked her, except, this kind of thankfulness is unexpressionable (like my conjured word?). There are no right words to express my thank, my emotions, or the expression I had on my face.

It's not everyday that a friend tells you how much they appreciate you, or how deep they know you. I can confidently conclude that Liz is extremely sensitive, and understands her friends well. Not only that, she isn't afraid to express her observations, which really did warm my heart.

Even though I think I'm straight forward enough with my friends and I express whatever I think about them to them all the time, I still need to work on finding the right words. I'm not sure if it's obvious that I am always trying to show affection and appreciation towards my friends... but I really do try. Maybe I just don't find the right kind of words to express these observations/feelings like how Liz perfectly does it, but then again... friends should be able to pick up these presence.

Maybe it's me, or my friends, I don't think it matters anymore. I know that I'm putting a lot of effort into my part of the cycle, and it's up to my friends to choose to receive the worded music. Maybe they respond, or not, but if responses aren't expressed, whether verbal or physically, it doesn't continue the story.

Thank you Liz. Thank you so much. I don't know how to thank you, coz no matter how much I try to thank you, it never seems enough. Your sensitivity and understanding allows me to know that- "Whoa, someone out there actually understands what I'm trying to show, what I'm trying to do." YOU are a diamond too Liz, you'll always be sparkling amongst the top. Thank you for being so supportive... and ... ur mega bubbly personality just adds a bonus to whatever you do. Thanks for being such a great friend.

d^^b

The Ish

[heyz bro, thax for da comment... vely supportive, thank you. lotsa luv, sis]

The Ish... go aside The Manz, here comes... *drum roll* THE ISH!!! *music playz*... YES!.. This is the newest clan (and the coolest- says YAN), consisting of 11 special pplz- me, Jane, Bec, Yan, Dez, Soph, Kev, Jason, Andrew, Harshana and Amit. The following is our clan names:

Hui the Highness [ish]
Jane the Cutie [ish]
Bec the Claw [ish]
Yan the Hardcore [ish] *
Dez the Desire [ish]
Soph the Loud [ish]
Kev the Special [ish] ^
Jason the Bo [ish]
Andrew the Xan [ish]
Harshana the Absent [ish]
Amit the Landmark [ish]

*in bed
^ or Kevin the Special [ish]

NEW FAMILY!!!... ^^... this was all due to the makings of the Royal Show. It all started on Monday. The bright, cheerful Monday. A lot of us.. (about 14) met up and walked around the show.. for at least 9 HOURS!.. My legs were quite sore... as I was wearing tie-up thongs... extremely painful. I basically walked around with Yan and bought 6 show bags (5 to me, 1 to my friend). I was holding Yan's hand all through the day!!!... ^^... but hey... I also spent time with Jane, I even went on the roller coaster!!!.. 360 degrees loop man!!! I didn't have the guts at first... but hey! i took on the challenge... SO MEGALLY FUN!!! We all had such a great time, and the fire works.. OMG OMG OMG... HELL WICKED!!!.. I loved it so much... and i was holding on to bec's hand the whole time... what a great experience.

Jane, I hope you had a lot of fun and u noe I'll never leave you. I promise.

^^b

PS 4 other [ish] are looking over my shoulder while i was typing this, sorry for the crappy entry. I shall update with more deep and meaningful language next time, as well as providing insight for the hungry minds next time. Thanks peoples.

PPS I'm trying to record something!!!

Surprising Near-End

[thax for the comments guys. they're all so sweet. Jane, huichean 4va luvs ya. Ben, thax for telling me that my words hav an affect on people. thax also for including my dedication in ur blog... ur sweet. Ness, thax for da email.. =P... thax for da advice. ur a real fren. lots and lots of love, hui.]

Friday finally came. Just like wat my rational mind predicted. However, my preminisions are usually wrong- the last post was no exception. I didn't cry once, once, at all during the last day of school with Jane. It was the last time I saw her wear Rossmoyne uniform... and I don't think I will ever have the chance to see that image again. Even though depression is somewhat shadowing me, it isn't pursuing my heart. I nearly cried on Friday morning when I saw TCP, but it didn't come out. I told myself to let my feelings out, but I guess even though I want to cry because of separation, my heart knows it's a happy separation- dat is not 4ver at all. This lightened my day, except I was half dazed throughout the day. On the other hand, everything's good, and I'm quite happy. It's gud to have happy endings- but... BUT, this aint no ending, just a near-end.

Jane will 4eva be with me; I'm not sure if my words have expressed my strong fondness for her enough, maybe they haven't, as exceptionally strong things cannot be expressed in words. I hope Jane will appreciate me like the way I do her, even if she doesn't, I know deep down inside how much I feel for her- that's all that matters. As long as I know the way I love my friends, whether they respond, it doesn't matter. This time- I'm definite about my feelings.

Luckily this is only a near-end, as the good friends I have lost in my 15 years of life is quite significant. I moved a lot in my life, never stayed at a place for more than... 3 years, until now. I have stayed in Aust for nearly 5 years, which is a HUGE record. I finally have established a strong base of frenz... even thoe I still have quite strong bases in m'sia... definitely not as strong compared to the one here thoe. Even though I've stopped moving, it's my frenz' turn to move. Already, including Jane, its 3 frenz. BEST FRIENDS. I had to use that term "best", just to express their closeness to me, coz all my friends are "best friends" to me. In M'sia, countless hav left... or maybe, I left them. I'm still grateful for the bonds I have though, coz even thoe I moved a lot... i still managed to keep making frenz and moving on. Survival skills huh?

Cherishing people is far more beautiful than cherishing objects. I think I'm lucky that I have people to cherish. love to u 4eva jane, u're 4eva in my heart. love 4eva to all others too, u guys are alwayz special, too.

^^b